Skills for Dealing with Feelings

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Feelings:
Feelings are often hard for students to understand let alone share with others.

To teach children how to deal with their feelings, McGinnis & Goldstein (1997) wrote:

different: KNOWING YOUR FEELINGS:

    1. Think of how your body feels- Discuss the cues students' bodies may give-- for example, blushing, tight muscles, or queasy stomach.
    2. Decide what you could call the feeling.- Discuss feelings such as frustration, fear, and embarrassment and their associated physical reactions.
    3. Say to yourself, " I feel _________.", (p. 116).

mad: EXPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS:

    1) Think about how your body feels.- Discuss the cues students' bodies may give-- for example, blushing, tight muscles, or queasy stomach.
    2) Decide what you could call the feeling.- Discuss feelings such as frustration, fear, and embarrassment and their associate physical reactions.
    3) Say to yourself, "I feel______." (p.116)

angry: DEALING WITH YOUR ANGER:

    1) Stop and count to 10.- Discuss the importance of allowing yourself time to cool off and think.
    2) Think about your choices:
      a. Tell the person in words why you are angry.- Discuss how to tell the person in a way that won't get that person angy, too.
      b. Walk away for now.- Students may need to ask the teacher if they can leave the classroom and run an errand or take a break.
      c. Do a relaxation exercise.
    3)Act out your best choice - If one choice doesn't work, the student should try another one. (p. 121)

fear: DEALING WITH FEAR:

    1) Decide if you are feeling afraid.- Discuss bodily cues fo fear (e.g., sweaty hands, nausea, pounding heart).
    2) Decide what you are afraid of- Discuss real versus imagined threats. The student may need to check this out with another person.
    3) Think about your choices:
      a. Talk to someone about it.- Discuss choosing someone reassuring (teacher or parent).
      b. Do a relaxation exercise.- Teach students relaxing.
      c. Try what you are afraid of doing anyway.- Discuss the feeling of accomplishment that can come from doing something difficult.
    4) Act out your best choice.- Discuss possible consequences of each choice. If one choice doesn't work, the student should try another one (p. 124)

reward yourelf: REWARDING YOURSELF

    1) Decide if you did a good job.- Discuss ways to evalutate your own performance.
    2) Say to yourself, I did a good job."
    3) Decide how else you will reward yourself.- Give examples of other self-rewards- take a break, do something you enjoy. Discuss.
    4) Do it.- Point out that students should reward themselves as soon after their performance as possible (p. 125)
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