Skills for Dealing with Feelings
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Feelings are often hard for students to understand let alone share with others.
To teach children how to deal with their feelings, McGinnis & Goldstein (1997) wrote:
KNOWING YOUR FEELINGS:
- 1. Think of how your body feels- Discuss the cues students' bodies may give-- for example, blushing, tight muscles, or queasy stomach.
- 2. Decide what you could call the feeling.- Discuss feelings such as frustration, fear, and embarrassment and their associated physical reactions.
- 3. Say to yourself, " I feel _________.", (p. 116).
EXPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS:
- 1) Think about how your body feels.- Discuss the cues students' bodies may give-- for example, blushing, tight muscles, or queasy stomach.
- 2) Decide what you could call the feeling.- Discuss feelings such as frustration, fear, and embarrassment and their associate physical reactions.
- 3) Say to yourself, "I feel______." (p.116)
DEALING WITH YOUR ANGER:
- 1) Stop and count to 10.- Discuss the importance of allowing yourself time to cool off and think.
- 2) Think about your choices:
- a. Tell the person in words why you are angry.-
- b. Walk away for now.- Students may need to ask the teacher if they can leave the classroom and run an errand or take a break.
- c. Do a relaxation exercise.
- 3)Act out your best choice - If one choice doesn't work, the student should try another one. (p. 121)
DEALING WITH FEAR:
- 1) Decide if you are feeling afraid.- Discuss bodily cues fo fear (e.g., sweaty hands, nausea, pounding heart).
- 2) Decide what you are afraid of- Discuss real versus imagined threats. The student may need to check this out with another person.
- 3) Think about your choices:
- a. Talk to someone about it.-
- b. Do a relaxation exercise.- Teach students relaxing.
- c. Try what you are afraid of doing anyway.- Discuss the feeling of accomplishment that can come from doing something difficult.
- 4) Act out your best choice.- Discuss possible consequences of each choice. If one choice doesn't work, the student should try another one (p. 124)
REWARDING YOURSELF
- 1) Decide if you did a good job.- Discuss ways to evalutate your own performance.
- 2) Say to yourself, I did a good job."
- 3) Decide how else you will reward yourself.- Give examples of other self-rewards- take a break, do something you enjoy. Discuss.
- 4) Do it.- Point out that students should reward themselves as soon after their performance as possible (p. 125)
REFERENCE:
McGinnis, E. & Goldstein, A. (1997). Skillstreaming the Elementary School Child (Rev. ed.). Champaign, Il: Research Press.
RECOMMENDED WEBSITES:
Activity: Situation Cards and worksheet.
National Center for Learning Disabilities.
RECOMMENDED BOOKS
Skillstreaming the Elementary School Child
The Feeling Fun House: Feelings: Dealing with Feelings (Kidskills Interpersonal Skills Series)
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