Friendship-Making Skills

close:
Making friends is an important part of building students' self-esteem. Wiener (2004) noted that there have been extensive research done about students with disabilities and social skills deficits. Much of this research has found that children with social skills deficits have difficulties with peer relationships and are more likely to experience loneliness and victimization by their peers. Positive relationships continues to be one of the most important implications that promotes security, and self worth in students with learning disabilities and social skills deficits (Wiener).

Some Friendship-Making Skills, McGinnis & Goldstein (1997) have written described are:

handshake: INTRODUCING YOURSELF:

    1) Decide if you want to meet the person.- Discuss why students might want to meet a person: The person looks friendly, is new to the school, and so forth.
    2) Decide if it is a good time.- Discuss how to choose a good time: The person is not busy with something or someone else.
    3) Walk up to the person.- Watch for appropriate distance.
    4) Introduce yourself.- Discuss ways to introduce yourself say, "Hi, my name is ______".
    5) Wait for the person to tell you his/her name. (If he/she doesn't tell you, ask.)- Discuss appropriate ways to ask a person's name. (p. 104)

talking: BEGINNING A CONVERSATION:

    1) Choose the person with whom you want to talk.- Remind students to consider whether they are talking is going to bother someone else- for example, someone who is trying to work.
    2) Decide what you want to say. - Suggest topics like something students did during the weekend, a hobby, or a favorite sport.
    3) Choose a good time and place.- Discuss how to choose a good time: When the other person isn't busy or when the student isn't supposed to be doing something else.
    4) Start talking in a friendly way.- Discuss the body language and nonverbal communicators that show a friendly attitude and suggest watching the person to see if he or she seems interested. Stress not talking too long without giving the other person a chance to talk. (p. 105).

compliment: GIVING A COMPLIMENT:

    1)Decide what you want to tell the other person.- Discuss the types of things students may want to compliment someone on: appearance, behavior, and achievement.
    2)Decide what to say. - Give examples of compliments.
    3) Choose a good time and place.- Discuss how to choose: When the student and the other person aren't busy and perhaps when a lot of other people aren't around.
    4) Give the compliment in a friendly way.- Emphasize giving the compliment in a sincere manner. Discuss the body language and facial expressions associated with sincerity. (p. 111)

Sharing: SHARING:

    1) Decide if you want to share something.- Talk about how the other person might feel if the student does or doesn't share.
    2) Decide on the person with whom you want to share.- If the student can share only with one person, point out that others around may feel left out.
    3) Choose a good time and place. - Discuss how to choose a good time: When another person needs or would enjoy using something of the studnet's.
    4) Offer to share in a friendly and sincere way.- Discuss appropriate body language, voice tone, and facial expression (p. 114)

sorry: APOLOGIZING:

    1)Decide if you need to apologize.- Discuss how we sometimes do things for which we are later sorry. Apologizing is something we can do to let other people know we are sorry. It also often makes us feel better.
    2)Think about your choices:- Discuss when it is best to use verbal or written ways to apologize.
      a. Say it out loud to the person.
      b. Write the person a note.
    3) Choose a good time and place.- Discuss how to choose a good time (i.e., soon after the problem). The student may want to be alone with the person for a verbal apology.
    4) Carry out your best choice in a sincere way.- Discuss the body language, voice tone, and facial expressions associated with sincerity (p. 115).

REFERENCES:

Cartledge, G. (2005). Learning disabilities and social skills: reflections. Learning Disability Quarterly, 28, 179-181.

McGinnis, E. & Goldstein, A. (1997). Skillstreaming the Elementary School Child (Rev. ed.). Champaign, Il: Research Press.

Wiener, J. (2004). Do peer relationships foster behavioral adjustment in children with learning disabilities? Learning Disability Quarterly, 27, 21-30.

RECOMMENDED WEBSITES:

KidsHealth.org.

Problems with Friendship.

Friendship Game.

LD Online.

National Center for Learning Disabilities.

Visit Other Cool Links

RECOMMENDED BOOKS

Skillstreaming the Elementary School Child

more links to books on friendship-making skills


[ Print This Page ]   [ Email This Page ]